Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, smart, and SINGLE!

Almost 90% of the people I know are divorced, going through a divorce, getting divorced again, or wishing they were divorced. I may be pushing 40 and have ever been married, but I have also never been divorced. How am I a loser again because I'm single?

Desperate people subscribe to any theory that involves altering who they are just to get a man or woman; they alter their face & body, change their style, and even indulge in activities they normally would avoid.  How can anyone claim to have confidence if they don't own who they are?  The Truth is getting someone by being something you're not is only a quick fix for being single; the real you will come out eventually.  One can change their looks, and behavior but they cannot change the person they are inside.  If you are needy and clingy by nature, just be you!  There are a lot of people who want to take care of someone, or who would appreciate constant attention and endless contact with their lover throughout the day.   If you are independent, be independent!  A lot of people do not have the schedule to be babysitters, or can offer undivided attention, and would prefer someone who can manage on their own.

Someone suggested that it might be a good idea for me to appear less "smart" because a lot of men find it intimidating.  I tried that once, and I got really annoyed with guys who couldn't figure out how to use the internet, or those who thought they were helping me when really they were telling me something I already knew.   I've been told to be more girlie, and less ALPHA or independent; and that attracted men who spoke to me like I was a complete idiot or treated me like I was helpless, or needed to be rescued. 

Is Oprah Winfrey girlie?  I'm more of an Oprah and less of a Kardashian. I'm not attracted to men who are easily impressed by a woman just because she's pretty, or those who have trivial idiosyncrasies.  It doesn't work for me, because I am much more than just another pretty face.

Being single is not a curse, and there is a sense of beauty in the freedom of being single.  When I interviewed with the producer for the Dr. Drew's Lifechangers episode

Uncheatable, I told him about my disclaimer.  I'm single but I don't hate being single.  I like coming home to no one, watching television without someone talking, sleeping all over the bed, and coming and going as I please.  I can do nothing all day or have back to back activities and I'm fine either way, because I'm content with life.  There is also a sense of beauty in belonging and coming home to someone and being in love; but if I have to change who I am to get it, I have accomplished nothing.

Has anyone ever stopped to consider that maybe the reason the divorce rate is so high because people attract each other by pretending to be something they're not?   You have to be yourself and love who you are.  It is easier done when you accept your flaws, admit you're not perfect, and stop believing you're alone.  View every person you interact with daily as someone in your life.   Take control of your life, don't let life control you.

Website: www.maxx12.com

Credentials- Dr. Drew’s Lifechanger’s “Uncheatable” episode 9.28.2011

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